A special assembly was held at Stimson Middle School on P.S. I Love You Day, which was observed by the entire South Huntington district in various ways on Friday, February 9th. It’s a day when everyone is asked to wear purple, to think about kindness, stand up against bullying, help end depression, and ultimately prevent suicide.
Stimson welcomed back a special guest to talk with students for a second year about a topic that is very personal to him - preventing bullying, cyberbullying and teen suicide. John Halligan lost his 13 year old son, Ryan, to suicide on October 7, 2003. Ryan didn’t leave a suicide note, and his family, in addition to dealing with their grief and shock, was at a complete loss to understand what had caused it. It was only after intense investigation by his father and police that Ryan’s family found out he had been bullied, ridiculed, and humiliated by some of his classmates at school and online. It was something he asked his family for help with when it first started in fifth grade but as Ryan got older and entered middle school, he tried to handle the bullying on his own and hid things from his family.
Stimson principal Mr. Michael Duggan asked Mr. Halligan back after seeing such a positive response from students after last year’s assembly. “[Middle school] is one of the more challenging times in a person's life,” said Mr. Duggan. “Developmentally, we're going through so many changes. We're pushing boundaries, and part of that pushing of boundaries is creating new friend groups and maybe not making the best choices online.”
While Stimson students always have a number of resources in school to seek help, including teachers, guidance counselors and social workers, Mr. Duggan believes the message can hit differently when it comes from somebody from the outside. “Yes, they hear us. But hearing a story like Mr. Halligan’s, it's from the heart. It's a real story. They can empathize. They know people who have been bullied online. They know people who have said unkind things online or to a person's face. It's just impactful for them to hear those things from those experts,” explained Mr. Duggan.
In memory of his son, John Halligan pushed for the Vermont Bully Prevention bill that was signed into law in that state in 2004. He is also behind the passage of mandatory suicide prevention education in public schools. Since 2005, Mr. Halligan has traveled throughout the United States and Canada speaking to thousands of students about Ryan’s Story. He left his job at IBM to do it, and he said his former job didn’t come close to the sense of satisfaction he got that very first time he did the presentation. “I know it's having an impact on children, saving their lives. There's nothing better I can do with my time on this earth,” said Mr. Halligan.
To wrap up the presentation, Mr. Halligan reminded Stimson students how much they are loved, not to be a bystander who allows bullying to happen, and that it’s always okay to ask for help if you need it. Then he asked them to think about a time they might have been unkind to someone and find them to say “I’m sorry.”
Mr. Duggan said he saw that suggestion rekindle some friendships last year and was confident it would again this year. “I think today will be spurred with a lot of thanking other people," said Mr. Duggan. “A little tiny seed in their brains today to remember to be kind or remember to behave appropriately online.”
Mr. Halligan was asked to come back to Stimson after seeing such a positive response from students after last year’s assembly.